You Keep Loving

You keep loving them. Not because you are a pushover, not because you are walking around with a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude, you keep loving because that’s how you are wired. You have no choice, you are miserable when you try and throw back to them when they throw things at you. So just keep loving, you beautiful heart.

You are not what people say you are, you are a reflection of the most flawless thing on earth and that is LOVE. You are not the lies they tell you about yourself, that is a mere reflection of what lies in the hearts, it does NOT define you!

Show them love when they least deserve it, love transforms. It may not seem like it, it may seem like the most pointless, hopeless situation, but it’s not. Love is patient! Love endures!

Don’t beat yourself up when your pent up feelings explode. Yeah, it’s not okay to cut someone else down when you’re in pain but its human. If you feel miserable about it, you are sorry! And it’s okay. That does not make you the person people may see you as. You are a lover, and a fighter, both!

You are not your past mistakes, you are the future full of lessons learnt, a beautiful product of all the times you’ve fallen and picked yourself up. You have NEVER been alone, not for one moment. You are strength and beauty, and your character is building up from all the times life has taught you humility.

Yes, you will fail again, you will be disappointed and hurt but there is NOTHING you cannot bounce back from. You are royalty, your heritage is beyond anything you can imagine. You will be okay, always! That is a promise.

You are loved greatly and so you will keep loving. No amount of betrayal can make you stop loving, so you keep loving, soldier! Keep fighting for love. Be the best version of yourself. Be the light when people can’t see it. Be the warmth when hearts have turned icy. Be the strength when they are weak. Be kindness when they are cruel. Be forgiveness when no one deserves it. Shock them with love, shatter all their disbelief, be true, be humble, be YOU because no one else can play your part.

You keep loving!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for looking

‘She was complex, if that could be a word used to describe her. She was a mess, a leaf blown about in an autumn breeze, scarcely holding onto a branch, her only bond to sanity. That was exactly what they saw, for people have forgotten how to see. But where they saw weakness I saw a fire. A fire that could burn a forest in a breath. Where they saw a leaf hanging from a branch, I saw a wild wind blowing. She was in that moment a light that made the darkness a little bit brighter. She was the girl with eyes that twinkled like the stars in the heavens. She was the beating heart that drew the tides to shore. She was complex, she was the girl who could smile through her tears and dance in hope when all the world only said despair.’

How many times do we choose to look just a little deeper into someones lives and seek the hidden and the most raw bits of their core. I have this theory that even the most guarded will let their guard down in real moments. Do we care enough to wait for that rawness?

How utterly selfish I’ve been lately to ignore the tugging at my heart to check up with a friend instead of spend days thinking about how to battle my problems. How easy it has been for me to forget what truly humbles me and makes me happy. How conveniently I tend to let this recur. Now, this isn’t a Tian bashing episode. But it does take moments of being accidentally shallow to really get me to swim back to the depth that is an incurable part of my personality.

And sometimes, it takes a friend to bring you back there. It takes eyes that have chosen to see beyond the dirt of your struggles. It takes a hopeful heart to remind you that behind the filth of actions and reactions, there is a wide eyed child still dreaming and wishing and wanting. It takes a double take of concern or even a slight pat on the head to show you that someone gives a damn. And no, as much as I am an advocate of choosing happiness , I do not think it is a display of weakness to sometimes want some validation from someone that matters.

So thank you, everyone who has chosen to look beyond, to everyone who has acted on an urge to hug, to everyone who has prayed silently for someone, to everyone who has hurt for a friend, to everyone who has not forgotten the person that brightened up your day when you needed it, to everyone to dares to look.

The world is a better place because of you

Thank you for looking 🙂

Little surprises I stumbled upon this week

I’ve had the kind of week where I really did not expect any warm fuzzies or shopping hauls seeing as Im grounded with one injured parent and one unwell one. But life has a weird way of giving us things when least expected. In my case it doesn’t happen as much as it used to so this was a pleasant “happy”

Goodies from the other end of the city sent by my sister! Wheeee!! She sent me willie wonka’s pixy sticks because who doesn’t need sugar, right!!? A warning though, these sticks are a biyaaatch to eat. I’ve discovered after a few different ways(including spilling sugar all over my laptop) that its best to peel off a thin strip and then just eat it REALLL slow to avoid dropping it all over the place!
I also got sent a gorgeous gold leaf headband from Accesorize that I couldn’t wait to wear! Thank God for big sisters that remember their big sisterly duties once in a while;)
She also returned the shoes that she bought me, which she then slyly took back while I hunted in every crevice of my room, under every pile of clothes before I finally came to terms with the fact that I may have just lost another item in Pandora’s room!(or as Afshi calls it “The lost world”)

The picture on top, however, made me even happier than my goodies, if that was even possible! I found my ‘sugar cubes’ from Soul Freedom! As you will frequently hear about in my posts, things disappear and re appear in my room quite often. If anyone doesn’t believe in magic, then you need to be my friend! So, “this one time at church camp”, we had a wall of little yellow envelopes with our names on it, and at the end of camp, our envelopes would magically be filled with sweet notes from anonymous people, or pixies whatever. I had some of the most unexpected messages. If you look closely you’ll even see one that just says “you are pretty :* “.(Also, one that says you make me want to dance like a spaz!) oh well.

Now I am happy. And also terribly slacking at work. MUZZZTTT go . TOODLES.

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Fleeting time and disaster after disaster, stoic beings we’ve all become. Me too. Whats the sense in worrying, I remind myself. The world was always wicked, we were just sheltered right?Wrong. Wickedness has clearly reached its all time high and I’m not afraid to say, its saddening. I do NOT like it one bit.
Sometimes i think and i think and I find so many things that sadden me and then I run to a happy place, I close my eyes and imagine i’m sitting with God in a silent embrace and as more things burden me the more i want to retreat to that place with Him.
An eternal mental frown, my spiritual limbs sometimes are so sluggish with the weight of all that is, that my overdose of physical chirpiness is just plain annoying to me. I wish there was a balance of spirit and body and I’m sure there is. If only I could find it soon. I think I could genuinely feel the happiness that was meant for me,then!

I wonder how many people I know closely feel that happiness. The only feelings I’m certain I feel are love and compassion. My favourite. The feeling of wanting to squish people and cuddle attack them! The feeling of looking in the wistful eye of a stranger and telling them “not all is lost” without saying it.
Walking around in a city like mine, we re so subconsciously barred from opening up to a stranger lest he be a rapist or a thief or misconstrue what you’re saying. I know a lot of us have spirits of compassion stifled under the fear of wickedness that surrounds us. Sometimes its pleasant to see this spirit overflow through someones eyes. Its like a spirit hug. I’m a sucker for those! By far the best feeling ever.
A man, blind from one eye stood  close to me today in the train and you know what, It threw me off guard that there was no filthy vibe from this man. I half wanted to hug the pain away but you know I dint of course. That’s where these spirit hugs come into play. The pain was pretty strong and my eyes welled up and I felt helpless. Not even my silent plea of blessings could settle it. Then he spoke. He asked me if the train was going to his destination and I said it wasn’t. Words of encouragement were bitten back and I seemingly indifferently told him where he could get off and catch the train he needed. My silent prayer will do him some good but where was my human prayer of gestures? Sometimes people need a display to make all that difference to a broken spirit.
On  a happier note, I read about some sweet acts of kindness on facebook. yay.
Here’s sending out a giant hug to everyone who needs it.

LURVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!