So, for the longest time I’ve been so conscious about how I behave in general, under stressful situations, towards rude people, in sensitive conversations, when I’m involved in messy situations that may not be my own.etc. I’ve tried various reactions over the years too -staying quiet, being diplomatic, giving advice where needed or even being blunt.
Turns out there will always be somebody who disagrees to your chosen reaction. People will call you out for staying silent or for being diplomatic but others may call you out for giving wrong advice or being blunt too.
Over time I developed certain understanding of this fact and even slowly began to get over the fact that if I was once liked then there’s a chance that that could change at any point.Also I began to understand that while I believe there are core characteristics to a person, I may not always be right about them. “TRUE” colours as we may think we know, don’t suddenly appear out of nowhere.
I’ve met TONS of people who after being disappointed or betrayed think back and believe that the person who hurt them revealed their true colours and hence the betrayal. I simply have decided to believe otherwise.
WHY? Because my reactions to situations have changed over time too. Where I was once readily and knowingly taken for granted, I have now learnt a little bit of assertiveness. It may have cost me the “Sweet” tag even though I see no relation to the two, but it has given me more value for time.
This doesn’t mean I won’t help as much as I can because no my willingness to do so remains the same. It just means I can now identify where to invest the little time I have. What has got me to this point? I realised situation after situation that there’s an urgency, to spend time wisely. And how I react to a situation will determine how I’m spending time too if you think about it. ( there are various counter arguments here. Forgive me, I’m trying to articulate the best I can)
Think of me as a coat of fresh paint, untainted and true to its hue. Think of me 10 years later, dirty, perhaps yellowed and peeled off in certain places, needing a fresh coat. There’s two solutions – Scrape off and paint afresh, Paint over and keep texture.
Think of me as solution two. I’ve decided to keep certain learnings from along the way and use them to react to situations better. (better for me , that is:p) Does that change what people think of me? YES.
This decision to be assertive will seldom look that way to someone who is used to me having trouble saying “no”. It will perhaps suddenly become rude, unwilling to help or a revelation of my “true colours”. When in fact, it is a stand to say “Hey I don’t know how long I have left to live. I will genuinely be there to help if I know the need is real and cannot be fulfilled by someone else or if it is required or if my heart urges me to do it. Otherwise, I may prioritise something that is more important to me at this point because I may not have the chance to do so anytime else.”
And that is okay:) It’s okay to realise the urgency to fulfill your purpose on Earth once you have found it and it’s okay to put it first as long as you don’t use it as a reason to defy your natural tendency to be a good person.
OK rant over.
Quirkazoid 