I Want Kids for All the WRONG Reasons

So, two years ago I moved to another city to join a parenting website as a writer. I am not a parent, not married, not pregnant or even close! I still managed to get hired by convincing my manger that my maternal qualities began as a toddler! ( Thanks unsuspecting little classmates that let me carry them in kindergarten+ friends that send me a text on mother’s day every year!)

Anyway, at this place, I’ve written about strange things that I’ve never experienced like Using menstrual cups, to How to deal with your Mother-in-law  when in reality I’ve wanted to write about the single life and how awesome it is! But some days, I think this place and the content I write about has slowly influenced me because I feel like I cannot wait to have a child.

HOWEVER, I feel like I want one for all the wrong reasons.

1. I want a child so I can wear matching outfits
   Matching dungarees, tutu skirts, hair bows… how can you not want to match with a tiny version of yourself?! My preference is a little girl but I can totally sport baggy jeans, white shirts, bow-tie’s and superstars if my fantasy child is a boy.
2. I want a child so that my child can grow up with my dog
   Slight problem, I don’t have a dog. But how cute are babies and dog’s together!!
3. I want a child so that  I can lose weight
   I have friends who lost upto 12 kilos in their breastfeeding days. Also running around toddlers, seems like a more enjoyable way to drop the chubbs than 10000000000000000 sit-ups and burpees.
4. I want a child because cuddles!
   Babies (around 1-2 years specifically) are just the right size for bed time cuddles. Plus they smell like baby powder and have really soft heads.
5. I want a child because the kid’s section at stores have everything I want to wear and cannot
   I know this won’t stop making me feel horrible that kids get all the cuter outfits but at least my child may end up looking like me. Hence mini-me gets to rock all them cute unicorn, mermaid outfits and black tutu skirts that my favourite brands don’t make for adults (HnM here’s looking at you!)
6. I want a child so that I can watch my husband be cuter
   I also do not own(have, HAVE!) a husband but like my dog, he will also turn up. But focus, guys with babies….*heartmelt*
7. I want a baby so that I can make funny meme’s when they do stupid stuff
   Seriously, I’m so tired of keeping this talent hidden from the world! Babies do such stupid stuff all the time, that’s like at least a few years worth of Instagram and facebook fame!

There, these are all the reasons. Mum’s on my list, don’t be offended. I’m obviously going to be flooded with love-hormones when I actually have a little person come out of me. Gurgles, spit bubbles, little fingers and toes… those things will do crazy things to me, I’m sure. But for now, a girl can be delusional, no?

Future babies, you will read a lot of posts about how selfless mums are and they are ( mine is!) but know that before you were formed I was this person, wanting you for the wrong reasons but thinking you are adorable nonetheless!